When the plumber arrived, he was carrying an extra set of used overalls and a matching cap. The dapper, impeccably groomed and expensively dressed doctor smirked in a condescending way and said: “Do you usually need a change of OVERALLS?!”

The plumber just smiled. When he was done, the plumber gave him the bill and told him he had to get some more equipment from his truck.

He explained that he needed a new assistant because of all the work and was short-handed. He asked the surgeon if he knew of any friends who might want the job.

The surgeon raised his eyebrows and pointed at his suit, his shoes, his degree and his office: “I’m well known in my field. I am a surgeon. Now, do I LOOK like someone who would have a PLUMBER for a friend?”

“You’re right. A high class guy like you in a fancy suit and those high-class shoes would never know plumbers,” said the plumber apologetically. He put the overalls down on a chair. “I’m very sorry…”

“I am on my way to give a presentation to the College of Surgeons! I’m sure I WON’T be meeting any plumbers there! I do not count PLUMBERS among my friends!” smirked the upper-crust doctor, as he checked his shoes to make sure the shine was still perfect and carefully tightened the knot of his tie. “Now I suggest you get to work!”

“YES SIR!” said the plumber. “I won’t forget! I’m SORRY!”

When the plumber returned, he entered the surgeon’s office still holding the blue collar cap; he stopped and stared.

There on the floor were the doctor’s brand new mirror-polished $1,000 handmade Italian leather shoes, but their owner’s feet were no longer in them.

A few feet away, he saw the doctor’s black silk socks.

But the surgeon’s feet were not inside those either.

The plumber grinned and followed the trail:

Next he found the hand-tailored $2,000 Armani pinstriped business suit that the doctor had been wearing, also neatly folded, with attached paisley braces.

Then he found the natty Hermes silk tie and the matching pocket square tossed on the floor.

After that he saw the monogrammed gold cufflinks, starched white shirt, silver tiepin and Rolex – in a trail across the floor into the bathroom.

The surgeon’s medical degree and briefcase were piled up next to them.

The plumber picked up the doctor’s very expensive shoes and socks and went in to the bathroom; there was the world-famous surgeon wearing the overalls, lying under the sink with his bare feet sticking out in a very undignified way.

The plumber tapped on the soles of the formerly dapper doctor’s feet with his own high-class shoes.

The surgeon looked out, with sweat streaming down his hundred dollar haircut.

He took the blue collar cap and put it on his expensively groomed hair, grabbed the Italian shoes and tossed them in the garbage, wiped his face with his silk socks, pointed at the plumber’s bill and said “You found your assistant.”

A German doctor says,
“That is nothing; we can take a lung
Out of one person, put it in another, and
Have him looking for work in four weeks.”

A Russian doctor says.
“In my country, medicine is so advanced
That we can take half a heart out of one
Person, put it in another, and have them
Both looking for work in two weeks.”

An ILLINOIS doctor, says.
“You guys are way behind.
We recently took a man with
No brains out of ILLINOIS ,
Put him in the White House
And within SIX MONTHS,
Half the COUNTRY is looking for work.”

This post was submitted by jbrunackey.

The nurse starts with certain basics. “How much do you weigh?” she asks. “135,” I say. The nurse puts me on the scale. It turns out my weight is 180.

The nurse asks, “Your height?” “5 foot 7″,” I say. The nurse checks and sees that I only measure 5’5″.
She then takes my blood pressure and tells me it is very high.
“Of course it’s high!” I scream. “When I came in here I was tall and slender! Now I’m short and fat!”
She put me on Prozac. What a bitch