60 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Massachusetts sunbathe.

50 above zero:
Italian & English cars won’t start.
People in Massachusetts drive with the windows down.

40 above zero:
Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and wool hats.
People in Massachusetts throw on a flannel shirt.

35 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Massachusetts have the last cookout before it gets cold.

20 above zero:
People in Miami all die.
People in Massachusetts close the windows.

Zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Massachusetts get out their winter coats.

10 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Massachusetts are selling cookies door to door.

20 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Massachusetts let the dogs sleep indoors.

30 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Bostonians get upset because they can’t start the snowmobile.

40 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops.
People in Massachusetts start saying…”Cold enough foh ya?”

50 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Massachusetts public schools will open 2 hours late=