Posts tagged "Christmas"
Christmas Jokes
Italian Night Before Christmas
Twas the night before Christmas,
Da whole house was mella,
Not a creature was stirrin’,
Cuz I had a gun unda da pilla.
What is a stable?
Every Christmas morning, when my kids were little, I read them the nativity story out of the big family bible.
Billy Gates writes to Santa
Dear Santa,
How are you doing? I hope you’ve had a successful year and have come up with a lot of interesting toys. It’s really neat how you’re able to do that year after year. I guess that’s how you stay number one in the Christmas presents business business.
The Chinese Pay Off Their Debts
Jones: “The chinese make it an invariable rule to settle all their debts on New Year’s Day.”
Smith: “So I understand, but, then again, the Chinese don’t have a Christmas the week before!
You Need to Join the Lord’s Army
Jack was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. The preacher grabbed Jack by the hand and pulled him aside.
The Shopping Criminal
It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner,”What are you charged with?”
The Australian Christmas
Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus,
Sweating his fat away
Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus,
Water-skis on his sleigh
Rating your Christmas parties
If you threw a party, the worst thing you could have done was throw the kind of party where your guests, the next day, call you up to say they had a nice time. Now you’ll be expected to throw another great party next year.
The politically correct Christmas
On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship gave to me:
The FAA Inspection
With the number of airline disasters lately, the FAA now sends an inspector to the North Pole to check out Santa Claus’s sleigh before allowing him to fly on Christmas eve.
Age Jokes
Animal Jokes
Aviation Jokes
Bar Jokes
Best Man
Birthday Jokes
Blonde Jokes
Computer Jokes
Death Jokes
Dumb Laws
Golf Jokes
Halloween Jokes
Heaven and Hell
Insults
Lawyer Jokes
Marriage Jokes
Redneck jokes
Rude
Text message
True Stories
Valentine’s Day