Things NOT To Say to a Pregnant Wife

~ “I finished the Oreos”

~ “Well, couldn’t they induce labor? The 30th is the Super Bowl”

~ “Not to imply anything, but I don’t think the kid weighs 45 pounds.”

~ “Y’know, looking at her, you’d never guess that Pamela Lee had a baby!”

~ “I sure hope your thighs aren’t gonna stay that flabby forever!”

~ “Darned if you ain’t about 5 pounds away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella.”

~ “I’m so jealous! Why can’t men experience the joy of childbirth?

~ “Geez, you’re awfully puffy looking today!”

~ “‘Retaining water?’ Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water!”

~ “Are your ankles supposed to look like that?”

~ “Get your *own* ice cream.”

And one thing you should DEFINITELY NOT say to a pregnant wife…

~ “Got milk?”

This post was submitted by LobsterLou.