It’s Hell to be Old

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OLD people have  problems that you haven’t even considered yet!

An 85-year-old man was asked by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his  physical  exam.

The doctor gave  the man a jar and said,
‘Take this jar home and bring  back a semen sample tomorrow.’

The next day, the old  man reappeared at the doctor’s office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened  and the man explained,

‘Well, doc, it’s like this  – first I tried with my  right hand, but  nothing.

Then I tried with my left hand, but still  nothing.

then  I asked my wife for  help.

She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still  nothing.

She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in,

then with her teeth  out, still  nothing.

We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried, too -

first with both hands, then an armpit,

and she even tried squeezin’ it between her knees, but still  nothing.’

The doctor was shocked! ‘You asked your  neighbor?’


The old man replied, ‘Yep, none of us could get the jar open.’

And, just what were YOU thinking?!?!?