Heaven and Hell

Once upon a time, there was a cat who died. When she got to heaven, God asked her how she liked being on earth. She told the Lord that it was awful — she had to sleep in cold back alleys, where there was no food and life was hard. God told her that he [...]

While walking down the street one day, a corrupt senator was tragically hit by a car and died. His soul arrives in Heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. “Welcome to Heaven,” says St. Peter. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around [...]

Bill Clinton and the Pope died on the same day, and due to an administrative foul-up, Clinton was sent to Heaven and the Pope was sent to Hell. The Pope explained the situation to the Devil; he checked out all of the paperwork, and the error was acknowledged. The Pope was told, however, that it [...]

Three men: a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree. Before anyone knows it, the three men found themselves standing before the pearly gates of Heaven, where St Peter and the Devil were standing nearby. “Gentlemen,” the Devil started, “Due to the fact that [...]

Three nuns die and go to Heaven. At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter. He says, “Sisters, you all led such wonderful lives that I’m granting you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you want to be.” The first nun says, “I want to be Sophia Loren.” – [...]

A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So he asked his class, [...]