Give me a fucking break.  Do you mean to tell me that if people don't have animals, all the goddamn leaves will fall off trees?

Here's a little advice for you.  Life without animals is just peachy.  You think I want a fucking dog pissing all over my furniture?  Think again.

By the way, why does that dog you drew have a fucking boner?

Holy fuck, what are you thanking the doctor for making your lips back to normal?  Have you looked in the mirror lately?  You have two gigantic testicles growing off the side of your head, dick face.

Do us all a favor.  Castrate those goddamn things before you start ejaculating all over everyone.

Gee, is this a lightening storm or a goddamn black penis, thrusting itself from heaven into Mother Earth's cunt?

Jesus H. Christ, I don't know if I should get out my umbrella or grab some tissue and spank a couple off.

What does that caption say?   "I'm glad I'm here?"  Hey fuck face, have you looked where you're standing?  You're underneath a goddamn Monster Truck.  I don't know about you, but I'd feel safer in a South African brothel than I would standing in front of a fucking 8 foot tire.

You illiterate fuck.   Divorce is burning?  Look again.  The only thing burning is that big "R", you dummy.  Have you ever heard of "Hooked on Phonics?" 

I also like how the letter "G" is smoking, because God knows every time I light something on fire, something else smokes on the other side of the room.  Idiot.

Divorce is a goblin?   Oh, you poor stupid bastard.  Is that what your parents told you?  No, no no.  Divorce is what happens when Daddy fucks some random chick in a bar, because your mom doesn't know how to suck his penis without using her teeth.

By the way, in addition to the lousy artwork, you spelled "marriage" wrong, asshole.  No wonder your parents got divorced.  They have a goddamn retard for a son.

Oh boy, where do I start on this one?  Do I pick on the monstrous duck with it's bill in my ass, or the goddamn horse that looks like Sylvestor Stallone with a muzzle?

And what's with the flying blue testicle?  Yeah, that one behind you with the fucking pussy willows growing out of it?  It's going to be awfully hard outrunning that thing on a horse with two legs.

Ok, as you can tell from my persona, I'm a very religious person, which is why I have a bone to pick with this picture.

Here it looks like Jesus, aka God in the flesh, is born.  Probably the most important event in human history.  And look what's happening.  Mary is over there playing with a sheep with major kidney failure, and Joseph is sporting the biggest goddamn boner I've ever seen.  Have you ever seen the head of a penis which is cloven like a fucking pig foot?  No wonder swine isn't kosher.

But bless this little child for drawing this picture.  Without it, I would've had no idea that monstrous, three-legged rabbits roamed the Earth.  And what the hell is that animal on the right?  It's bigger than Joseph's throbbing dick and it has goddamn antennas growing out it's head.

No, you're not surrounded by hate. You're surrounded by knife-wielding parents who're trying to kill you, you misspelling bastard. 

For fucks sake.  You're smart enough to know how to correctly use an apostrophe, but you misspell 'surrounded'?  And by the way, after looking at this wretched excuse for a picture, you're now surrounded by thousands of other people who hate you too.

Well fuck me running, here we have another one of God's little fuckups.

Where do I start?  Do I pick on the fact that you misspelled the one word you're trying to emphasize, or the fact that Papa Smurf is about to cut the heart out of that tree?

What's with all the tree bashing, you anti-environmentalist pig?  You don't see me cutting out YOUR heart for being such a goddamn moron, do you?

I like how kids these days are taught to deal with problems.  When all else fails, grab a knife and start killing things.  I hope that tree which you're cutting down gets turned into a billy club.....and then a cop beats the ever loving shit out you, you hate monger.  Save a tree, and kill your parents for procreating.

It's a bird.  No, it's a plane.  No, it's a flying tampon with whiskers.  What in God's name is that thing?  A ghost?  

By the way, nice running shoes, Forrest.  They look like two severed bird heads which you stepped on while running away from the Kotex Monster.

Notice how the sun is just smiling away, like all is happy and joyful in the world.....while this kid with 7 fingers on one hand and 4 on the other is running for his life. 

And what's with the hair, man?  Is that a new style, or is your head smoldering from being in such close proximity to the sun?

Jesus H. Christ, what the hell is this?   Looks like Woody Woodpecker with Down Syndrome.  First of all, I've never seen a bird walk on its tippy toes. 

And what's with both eyeballs being on the same side of its head?  This isn't a fish, you stupid bastard. 

Ok, I don't know if I should be scared or run for my toothbrush.   What the hell am I looking at here?  Looks like the head of a penis freaking out about that hairy wart near its urethra. 

Let's get real here.  How many penises do you know that have teeth?  And if they did, and if they looked like that, would you really be concerned about a tiny bump on your head?

Oh...my...God.  I've never seen such an unrealistic piece of crap in my life.  Hey dipshit, did anyone ever tell you that flowers don't have tiny legs growing out of them?  And what's with the two flowers on the right?  Are they supposed to look like they're dying of cancer?

Is this kid standing on a tombstone?  You fucking idiot, didn't your parents tell you it's disrespectful to stand on someone else's grave?  I don't care ff you're scared of that mean little doggy.  Speaking of which, how can you be scared of a puppy dog when you have two, tumor-like growths protruding from  your shoulders?  

And another thing, are you in a goddamn cornfield, or does grass normally grown 6 feet tall in your world? 

Instead of teaching us about trying, why don't you try to actually draw something that makes sense.  You fucking, fucking mongrel.  I should slap your parents for allowing you to hold a pen.

First of all, I've ridden a lot of bikes in my time, but I've never, ever seen one with 874 spokes on it.  I hope you never become an engineer.

And what's with the kid on the bike?  Yeah, that one with the goddamn sword sticking out of his body.  Is he riding to the hospital?

And where is his other leg?  Did it just magically disappear?  Maybe it got caught in one of those god-forsaken spokes and was ripped off.

Excuse me while I pick up the phone and call the police.  Are you kidding me with this picture?  Captain Arab on the right is about to stab some girl with elephantitis of the arms.  Meanwhile, she's smiling, like he's holding a big dildo or something..

Although I can't blame Captain Arab for being pissed.  After all, looks like he has a normal sized arm on one side, and three spider-like arms on the other.  He's probably frustrated because he can't masturbate without spinning a goddamn web all over himself. 

Here's a little tip: if you have to label your drawing for people, then you didn't draw it well enough.  Either that, or you think we're a bunch of goddamn idiots.  What, do you think we don't know what a fucking beak looks like?

I mean, that's sweet of you to explain the fucking biological makeup of a bird, but don't you think you could have drawn one without a horrendous scar on its body? 

And one more thing, Sherlock.  Bald eagles are not really bald.  Did parasites eat away at all the feathers on his head? Or did he lose them all while trying to figure out why his neck, head, and body are all the same goddamn size?

Next time give the bird some more feathers so he doesn't die of hypothermia, you inconsiderate fuck.. 

Gee, nothing funner than sitting in the middle of the ocean while a hurricane looms overhead.  Why in the blue fuck are these three people smiling?   Not only are they floating in the worlds largest teacup, but they're plagued with a horrible case of jaundice.

And what's that damn squiggly thing on the left?  A fishing pole?  Why is it bent?  Were they inserting it into tight, constricting places?

By the way, I don't know about you, but I've seen lots of hurricanes which consist of two, cotton-shaped clouds. 

Ok Rupert, I'm going be easy on you, since you're probably retarded and can't draw a logical picture to save your life.

First of all, what's with that yellow pee monster attacking that goofy girl?  Yeah, you know who I'm talking about.   That girl impaled on both sides with daggers.  Is she scared of the creature or the fact that the sun appears to be ovulating?

And who's that creepy, tall green-headed man on the right?  David Banner?   Maybe he's there to investigate why this girl seems to have a darker moustache than most teenage boys.