My Joke Mail » Kids Drawings

Hurricane

Mike — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 20:55:03 +0000

Gee, nothing funner than sitting in the middle of the ocean while a hurricane looms overhead. Why in the blue fuck are these three people smiling? Not only are they floating in the worlds largest teacup, but they’re plagued with a horrible case of jaundice.

And what’s that damn squiggly thing on the left? A fishing pole? Why is it bent? Were they inserting it into tight, constricting places?

By the way, I don’t know about you, but I’ve seen lots of hurricanes which consist of two, cotton-shaped clouds.

Eagle

Mike — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 20:53:57 +0000

Here’s a little tip: if you have to label your drawing for people, then you didn’t draw it well enough. Either that, or you think we’re a bunch of goddamn idiots. What, do you think we don’t know what a fucking beak looks like?

I mean, that’s sweet of you to explain the fucking biological makeup of a bird, but don’t you think you could have drawn one without a horrendous scar on its body?

And one more thing, Sherlock. Bald eagles are not really bald. Did parasites eat away at all the feathers on his head? Or did he lose them all while trying to figure out why his neck, head, and body are all the same goddamn size?

Next time give the bird some more feathers so he doesn’t die of hypothermia, you inconsiderate fuck..

Scary

Mike — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 20:52:38 +0000

Excuse me while I pick up the phone and call the police. Are you kidding me with this picture? Captain Arab on the right is about to stab some girl with elephantitis of the arms. Meanwhile, she’s smiling, like he’s holding a big dildo or something.

Although I can’t blame Captain Arab for being pissed. After all, looks like he has a normal sized arm on one side, and three spider-like arms on the other. He’s probably frustrated because he can’t masturbate without spinning a goddamn web all over himself.

Try Again

Mike — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 20:51:46 +0000

Instead of teaching us about trying, why don’t you try to actually draw something that makes sense. You fucking, fucking mongrel. I should slap your parents for allowing you to hold a pen.
First of all, I’ve ridden a lot of bikes in my time, but I’ve never, ever seen one with 874 spokes on it. I hope you never become an engineer.
And what’s with the kid on the bike? Yeah, that one with the goddamn sword sticking out of his body. Is he riding to the hospital?
And where is his other leg? Did it just magically disappear? Maybe it got caught in one of those god-forsaken spokes and was ripped off.

Dog Boy

Mike — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 20:50:37 +0000

Is this kid standing on a tombstone? You fucking idiot, didn’t your parents tell you it’s disrespectful to stand on someone else’s grave? I don’t care ff you’re scared of that mean little doggy. Speaking of which, how can you be scared of a puppy dog when you have two, tumor-like growths protruding from your shoulders?
And another thing, are you in a goddamn cornfield, or does grass normally grown 6 feet tall in your world?

Flowers

Mike — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 20:48:40 +0000

Oh…my…God. I’ve never seen such an unrealistic piece of crap in my life. Hey dipshit, did anyone ever tell you that flowers don’t have tiny legs growing out of them? And what’s with the two flowers on the right? Are they supposed to look like they’re dying of cancer?

Monster

Mike — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 20:47:49 +0000

Ok, I don’t know if I should be scared or run for my toothbrush. What the hell am I looking at here? Looks like the head of a penis freaking out about that hairy wart near its urethra.
Let’s get real here. How many penises do you know that have teeth? And if they did, and if they looked like that, would you really be concerned about a tiny bump on your head?

Bird

Mike — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 20:46:55 +0000

Jesus H. Christ, what the hell is this? Looks like Woody Woodpecker with Down Syndrome. First of all, I’ve never seen a bird walk on its tippy toes.
And what’s with both eyeballs being on the same side of its head? This isn’t a fish, you stupid bastard.

Crazy

Mike — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 20:46:10 +0000

It’s a bird. No, it’s a plane. No, it’s a flying tampon with whiskers. What in God’s name is that thing? A ghost?
By the way, nice running shoes, Forrest. They look like two severed bird heads which you stepped on while running away from the Kotex Monster.
Notice how the sun is just smiling away, like all is happy and joyful in the world…..while this kid with 7 fingers on one hand and 4 on the other is running for his life.
And what’s with the hair, man? Is that a new style, or is your head smoldering from being in such close proximity to the sun?

Devorce

Mike — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 20:45:02 +0000

Well fuck me running, here we have another one of God’s little fuckups.

Where do I start? Do I pick on the fact that you misspelled the one word you’re trying to emphasize, or the fact that Papa Smurf is about to cut the heart out of that tree?

What’s with all the tree bashing, you anti-environmentalist pig? You don’t see me cutting out YOUR heart for being such a goddamn moron, do you?

I like how kids these days are taught to deal with problems. When all else fails, grab a knife and start killing things. I hope that tree which you’re cutting down gets turned into a billy club…..and then a cop beats the ever loving shit out you, you hate monger. Save a tree, and kill your parents for procreating.