Happy Mother’s Day
WHY GOD MADE MOMS
Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:
Why did God make mothers?
1. She’s the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
This post was submitted by LobsterLou.
The Next Survivor Series
Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.
Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes.
This post was submitted by LobsterLou.
How advanced we are?
An Israeli doctor says,
“Medicine in my country is so advanced
That we can take a kidney out of one man,
Put it in another, and have him looking for
Work in six weeks.”
This post was submitted by jbrunackey.
Breakfast Time
One Sunday morning my son, Jasper came into the kitchen to find me preparing a big breakfast for his mom.
This post was submitted by LobsterLou.
Two Irish Nuns Arrive
Two Irish nuns have just arrived in USA by boat. One says to the other nun, ‘”I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs!!” “Odd,” her companion replies,
“but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do.”
This post was submitted by Barry C..
The Soldier and the Nun
A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, “Please, may I hide under your skirt?… I’ll explain later!!”
The nun agreed.
A moment later, two Military Police ran up and asked, “Sister, have you seen a soldier?”
The nun replied, “He went that way!!”
This post was submitted by Barry C..
Heart-broken Aunt Mildred
Aging Aunt Mildred, a 93-year-old woman, was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband. She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death.
This post was submitted by Joe Umphrey.
Cliff Richard
One day Cliff Richard met a fan from China.
“I ruv you Criff, I ruv song called itchy sore fanny.”
“I didnt sing a song called that” say Cliff.
The fan says ” Yes you did It went, ” Itchy sore fanny how we dont talk anymore.”
This post was submitted by rondetto.
The Actor
There was this famous actor who hadn’t had a role for some time.
After many years he finds a theatre where they are prepared to give him a chance to shine again.
This post was submitted by rondetto.
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Valentine’s Day