Students at a local school were assigned to read 2 books, ‘Titanic’ & ‘My Life’ by Bill Clinton.
One student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories!
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This post was submitted by rondetto.
One night, a torrential rain soaked Southern Ireland. The next morning the resulting floodwaters came up about 6 feet into most of the homes.
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This post was submitted by rondetto.
A salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a haircut before his meeting tomorrow, he called down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the premises.
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This post was submitted by rondetto.
A general store owner hired a young female clerk who used to wear short skirts and skimpy thongs to work. One day a young man came into the store and asked for some raisin bread. As the raisin bread was located on the top shelf, she had to climb a stepladder to reach it, affording him a great view up her skirt.
He was so turned on by what he saw that when she came down, he suddenly remembered he needed more raisin bread- just so that she would have to climb back up.
By now the other male customers in the shop noticed what was going on and they too, asked in turn for raisin bread. Each time the girl dutifully climbed the ladder for the raisin bread and each time they got an eyeful.
After half a dozen climbs in quick succession, She began to get tired. From the top step, she looked down at the group of men and spotted an old man, who was yet to be served, staring up at her.
Trying to save herself another trip back up, she asked him: “Is yours raisin too?”
“NO, HE SAID, BUT I THINK IT JUST MOVED!!”
This post was submitted by rondetto.
There is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls. We’ve all heard about people having Guts or Balls. But do you really know the difference between them?
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This post was submitted by Joe Umphrey.
Airport Security Event
Customs Official : ‘May I know your name?’
Passenger : ‘Batman’
Customs Official : ‘Sir…what’s your name!?’
Passenger : ‘My name is Batman.’
Customs Official : ‘Trying to be funny? What’s your surname?’
Passenger : ‘Super-man’
Customs Official : ‘So you’re telling me your name is Batman Superman?’
Passenger : ‘Yes’
Customs Official : ‘Arrest this guy!’
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The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office.
The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.
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This post was submitted by Joe Umphrey.