In the hospital, The relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber.
"I'm afraid I am th[...]
1. Be user friendly
2. Take bytes (nibbles) hehe
3. Fondle joystick ;)
4. Spread sheet
5. Fix surge protector
6. Activate hardware
7. Insert disc, all the way (yes yes)
A couple who'd been married for over 50 years was sitting on the sofa.
The wife said, "Dear, do you remember how you used to sit close to me?"
He moved over and sat close to her.[...]
-Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
-Your orgasms are real. Always.
-Your last name stays put.
-The garage is all yours.
-Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
The local United Way office realized that it had never received a
donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The volunteer in
charge of contributions called him to persuade[...]
Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his blu[...]
Two nuns went out of the convent to sell cookies. One of them is known as Sister Mathematical (SM) and the other one is known as Sister Logical (SL).
It is getting dark and they[...]
A man went into the proctologist's office for his first exam. The doctor told
him to have a seat in the examination room and that he would be with him in
just a few minutes.
Q:What do a gynaecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common?
A:They can both smell it but can't eat it.
Q: How is a woman like a condom?
A: Both of them spend more time [...]
A blonde had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she cut off a truck driver. He motioned for her to pull over. When she did, he got out of his truck and pulle[...]
(I found this in my mailbox.....the person who sent it to me didn't tell me where they got it from, but it's pretty funny!)
Jordan, my 3-year-old son, has expressed an insatiabl[...]
So there are three golfers, (John, Steve and David) who are looking for a fourth. David mentions that his friend Stan is a pretty good golfer, so they decide to invite him for the [...]
10. Hot dogs with just a hint of Tabasco.
9. "Kids eat free" night at the steak house.
7. Broiled bologna benedict on rye.
6. Back-of-the-fridge goulash (with[...]
One dismal rainy night in London, a taxi driver spotted an arm waving from the shadows of an alley halfway down the block. Even before he rolled to a stop at the curb, a figure lea[...]
A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and they take turns to tell their adventures on the seas. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, hook and an eye patch. The seaman asks "[...]
THINGY (thing-ee) n.
female: Any part under a car's hood.
male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.
VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
female: Fully opening up one's self emoti[...]
The young fellow was about to be married and was asking his grandfather about sex. He asked how often you should have it. His grandfather told him that when you first get married, [...]
A man tells his wife that he's going out to buy cigarettes. When he gets to the store he finds out however , that it's closed. So the guy ends up going down to the local bar to use[...]
The day finally arrived: Forrest Gump dies and goes
to Heaven. He is met at the Pearly Gates by St.
Peter himself. The gates are closed, however, and
Forest approaches the gatek[...]
A farmer buys several pigs, hoping to breed them for ham, bacon,etc....After several weeks, he notices that none of the pigs are getting pregnant and calls a vet for help. The vet [...]
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