A Russian couple was walking down the street in St. Petersburg the other night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. "I think it's raining," he said to his wife.
"No, that fel[...]
'Twas the night after Christmas and all through the trailer, the beer had gone flat and the pizza was staler. The tube socks hung empty, no candies or toys and I was camped out on [...]
1. You strike a match and light your nose.
2. You take off your shoes and wade in the potato salad.
3. You hear a duck quacking and it's you.
4. You tell your best joke[...]
On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike.
The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did S[...]
This is hillarious!!! Make sure you pay attention to each "FROM:" , "TO:," "DATE:", & "RE:" entries .... They change with each memo.
On a farm out in the country lived a man and a woman and their three sons.
Early one morning, the woman awoke, and while looking out of the window onto to the pasture, she saw [...]
Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say[...]
While a friend and I were visiting Annapolis, we noticed
several students on their hands and knees assessing the
courtyard with pencils and clipboards in hand.
"What are they d[...]
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the
service, his cousin asks him: "How many women can a man marry?"
"Sixteen!" replies the little boy.
His cousin laughed[...]
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing [...]
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
Q: How do you know when your staying in a Redneck hotel?
A: When you call the front desk and say "I've gotta leak in my sink" and the person at the front desk says "go ahead."
A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their
40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been such [...]
I was scheduled to fly from North Carolina to Germany, where my husband was stationed in the military. As I checked in at the airport, the ticket agent asked me some standard secur[...]
A good-OLE-boy staggered home late after another evening with his drinking buddies. Shoes in left hand to avoid waking his wife, he tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs[...]
Q: What's the Rednecks most popular pick up line?
A: Nice tooth!
A lady walks into the drug store and asks the druggist for some arsenic.
The druggist asks "Ma'am, what do you want with arsenic?"
The lady say's "To kill my husband."
A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome Teed Off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing[...]
A man was supposed to meet his girlfriend's family. Unfortunately, he is so nervous he has an eating problem. So, halfway through desert he tries very hard to hold his fart. At the[...]
There once was a farmer who was raising 3 daughters on his own. He was very concerned about their well being and always did his best to watch out for them. As they entered their la[...]
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